Horrible Harry and the Kickball Wedding Read online

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Acknowledgements

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  So Why Don’t You Marry It?

  Tickle Attack!

  Big Wedding Plans

  Harry’s True Love

  Here Come the Brides

  Are wedding bells ringing for Horrible Harry and Song Lee?

  Harry came to school the next morning with a special homemade valentine. There was a big heart painted on it with red fingernail polish.

  “I’m asking Song Lee today,” he said as he walked into class.

  “Asking her what?” I whispered.

  “You’ll see.”

  He turned and handed me the valentine. “Pass this to Song Lee,” he whispered.

  At last! I thought. Now I could find out what Harry was up to. Quickly I read the message on the card.

  Twice. I couldn’t believe it the first time.

  Harry wanted to marry Song Lee!

  PUFFIN BOOKS ABOUT ROOM 2B

  Horrible Harry in Room 2B

  Horrible Harry and the Green Slime

  Horrible Harry and the Ant Invasion

  Horrible Harry’s Secret

  Horrible Harry and the Christmas Surprise

  Song Lee in Room 2B

  Song Lee and the Hamster Hunt

  Song Lee and the Leech Man

  Special appreciation

  to Mary Ann Boulanger, my colleague and friend,

  for her insight,

  and

  to Liz Breckinridge, my editor, for her enthusiasm

  and hard work.

  PUFFIN BOOKS

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Putnam Books for Young Readers,

  345 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A.

  Penguin Books Ltd, 27 Wrights Lane, London W8 5TZ, England

  Penguin Books Australia Ltd, Ringwood, Victoria, Australia

  Penguin Books Canada Ltd, 10 Alcorn Avenue, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4V 3B2

  Penguin Books (N.Z.) Ltd, 182-190 Wairau Road, Auckland 10, New Zealand

  Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: Harmondsworth, Middlesex, England

  First published in the United States of America by Viking,

  a division of Penguin Books USA Inc., 1992

  Published in Puffin Books, 1995

  Reissued 1999

  Text copyright © Suzy Kline, 1992

  Illustrations copyright © Frank Remkiewicz, 1992

  All rights reserved

  THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS HAS CATALOGED THE VIKING EDITION AS FOLLOWS:

  Kline, Suzy.

  Horrible Harry and the kickball wedding/by Suzy Kline

  illustrations by Frank Remkiewicz. p. cm.

  Summary: As Valentine’s Day approaches, the students in Room 2B are

  preoccupied with the kickball and a possible wedding

  between Horrible Harry and Song Lee.

  eISBN : 978-1-101-07686-6

  RL: 2.4

  http://us.penguingroup.com

  Dedicated withto my class:

  Melanie Bazzano

  Ashley Colella

  Todd Davis

  Erica Duprey

  Randy Ford

  Danielle Glover

  Mark Greco

  Crystal Grenier

  Nathan Hannon

  Elizabeth Jamison

  JennyLynn Jarvis

  Jonathan Kane

  Robert Kittredge

  Diane Lapseritis

  Craig Lovely

  Jessica Marciano

  Matthew Marquard

  James McBurney

  Silvio Melo

  Nicholas Moore

  Taylor Musselman

  Kevin Roberts

  Matthew Talbot

  Brian Wilkinson

  So Why Don’t You Marry It?

  Harry sits next to me in Room 2B. He looks like any other second grader except for one thing. Harry loves to do horrible things.

  The week before Valentine’s Day, I didn’t think anything too horrible could happen.

  But it did.

  Harry and I were looking at his new library book, The Bug Hall of Fame. Song Lee was looking at it too. “See that giant water bug?” she said. “When I live in Korea, I see one eat a fish.”

  “No fooling?” Harry flashed his white teeth at Song Lee. He’s had a crush on her ever since she brought in a potato beetle for show-and-tell in kindergarten.

  “Hey, Doug,” Harry said.

  “Yeah?” I replied.

  “Look! Here’s a picture of a stinkbug.”

  “Eeyew, neat-o!” I said.

  Then he turned the page. “And a KISSING BUG!”

  Just as I made a face, Mary appeared. She had a pile of bright red valentines in her hand. “Ohhhhhhh! Did you say BUGS KISS?”

  Ida joined the conversation. “We know they do, Mary. Remember when we had our ant farm? Ants kiss every time they pass food.”

  Harry lowered his bushy eyebrows. “Ants are not bugs—they’re insects. We’re talking about bugs.”

  “Well,” Mary snapped. “They’re romantic, whatever they are!”

  Suddenly, Sidney peered over her shoulder. “If you love ants so much, why don’t you marry one?”

  “SIDNEY!” Mary shouted. “That’s dumb! You can’t marry an ant.”

  The rest of us tried not to laugh, but it was hard. Sidney’s joke was so stupid, it was funny.

  When the bell rang, everyone returned to their seats. Except Mary. She was still passing out her valentines.

  “Mary,” the teacher said. “It’s too early to pass those out. Please collect them.”

  Mary made a long face. “Yes, Miss Mackle.”

  “Boys and girls, we will pass out valentines on Thursday, when it’s Valentine’s Day. We will also have a party and a special Valentine’s Day square dance.”

  Everyone cheered.

  “If you can wear something with a touch of red or white in it, that would be fun,” the teacher added.

  “I know what I’m wearing,” Harry blurted out. “My black-widow sweat-shirt !”

  “You’re supposed to wear Valentine colors,” Mary grumbled.

  “I am!” Harry replied. “A black widow has a touch of red. Heh! Heh! The deadly red hourglass.”

  “Eeeeeeyew!” Mary groaned.

  “The black widow is poisonous,” Ida said.

  Miss Mackle just smiled.

  Later, when we were standing in the lunch line, everyone was talking about what they would wear for Valentine’s day. But not Harry and me. We were too busy taking deep whiffs.

  “Mmmmmmm. It’s hot dog day!” Harry said. “I love hot dogs!”

  Sidney made his eyebrows go up and down. “So ... why don’t you marry one?”

  This time the joke was on Harry and he didn’t like it.

  All through lunch he glared at Sidney. We knew that the hot dogs weren’t the only things steaming. Harry was, too!

  After lunch, our class went outside for recess. Some of us started up a kickball game. Harry raced for the pitcher’s mound.

  “I GET TO BE PITCHER!” he shouted.

  Dexter ran for the plate.

  “I’M UP FIRST!” he called. Then he pushed his hair back with his fingers. Ever since January when he transferred into our class, Dexter’s been the king of kickball.

  “I’m FIRST BASE!” Ida yelled.

  “I’m SECOND!” I shouted.

  After everyone took a position, Harry said, “What do you want, Dex? My slime ball ... slow and smooth over the plate? Or my new specialty ... the cyclone ball?”

  Dexter rubbed h
is hands together.

  “Gimme the cyclone!” he said as he kicked the air twice with his big blue sneaker. When he stopped running his fingers through his hair, we knew he was ready for the big pitch.

  Harry wound up twice and delivered a fast, bouncy ball over the plate. Dexter ran forward and gave it a hard kick.

  THONK!

  The ball soared high in the air to center field. It looked like a sure home run!

  Dexter thought so, too. He went into his Elvis routine, rocking and rolling around the bases.

  “Be bop da-boom!

  Be bop da-boom!

  Shoogie-boogie

  Boogie-shoogie

  SLAM! BAM! BOOM!”

  Then it happened. Deep in center field, all the way back by the big tree ... “SHE’S GOT IT!” I screamed.

  It was Song Lee! She grabbed the ball right out of the air with both hands and pulled it close to her chest.

  “Dexter’s out! Yahoo!” Harry yelled as he ran to center field and gave Song Lee a big hug.

  When recess was over and we lined up, Sidney patted Harry on the back. “You really love kickball, don’t you?”

  “Yeah!” Harry said, pointing both thumbs up.

  “So why don’t you marry it, then?”

  Harry poked Sidney in the chest. “You like to laugh? Just wait till I tickle your funnybone. After school!”

  As I watched Sidney duck behind the teacher, I shook my head.

  Poor Sidney.

  He was in for it now. Harry’s revenge!

  Tickle Attack!

  At 3:03 P.M., I sat on the school lawn reading a book while Harry hid behind the pricker bush waiting for Sidney.

  When Dexter strolled by, Harry peeked out at him. “Hey, Dex!”

  Dexter took a step back. “You hiding from someone?”

  “Eh ... no. Just looking for slugs under these rocks.”

  “That’s cool. Hey, did I get robbed or what? Man, that should have been a homer-illo.”

  “Yeah,” Harry said. “Right-arillo! But Song Lee is an awesome player.”

  Dexter nodded. “Wait till I get my cousin’s new soccer ball. You kick that sucker and it flies!”

  “All right!” Harry said.

  Then Dexter spotted me on the lawn and waved. Harry and I waved back as we watched him rock and roll up the street singing:“Shoogie boogie boo!

  Shoogie boogie boo!

  Boogie-shoogie

  Shoogie-boogie

  Boogity boo!”

  Soon after Dexter left, Sidney came by. Harry was waiting for him.

  “Aha!” he shouted as he leaped up, wiggling his fingers. “It’s time for ... the tickle attack!”

  Harry jumped on Sidney.

  “Hey! What are you doing?” Sidney said as they tumbled to the ground.

  “Heh! Heh! Heh!” Harry cackled.

  Then he slipped his fingers inside Sidney’s jacket and started tickling his armpits.

  “HA! HA! HA!” Sidney howled. “STOP! HA! HA! STOP!”

  A bunch of letters fell out of Sidney’s pocket when he was screaming and shaking. I thought they were probably valentines. My name was on one of them.

  “Are you gonna stop bugging me about marrying hot dogs or kickballs?”

  “YES! HA! HA! I PROMISE!”

  As soon as Harry stopped, Sidney jumped to his feet. He looked like he was going to cry. “You know what? My ... my ... mom’s really getting married Saturday.”

  Harry’s eyes were as big as mine!

  We watched Sidney pick up the letters and stuff them back in his pocket. “Mom wants me to invite you guys, but I don’t feel like it. I don’t even want to go myself!”

  “Who’s your mom marrying?” I asked as I got up and closed my book.

  “Some guy named George. He sells tombstones.”

  “Tombstones?” I asked. “That’s interesting. Is he nice?”

  Sidney shrugged. “He’s okay. I don’t know why Mom has to marry him. I’m supposed to be in the wedding ceremony and go to some dumb rehearsal tonight at the church. But I don’t want to!”

  Then Sidney started crying and ran up the street.

  I shook my head. “Well, now we know why Sidney has marriage on the brain.”

  “Yeah,” Harry said. “Too bad he isn’t handing out those invitations. I love weddings. They’re fun.”

  “They are? I’ve never been to one.”

  “You have never been to a wedding, Doug?”

  “Nope,” I said, shaking my head. “But I saw one on TV and one in a movie.”

  “That’s not the same thing as being there. We’ve got to do something about this.”

  When Harry spotted Song Lee walking up the street, he suddenly snapped his fingers. “That’s it! And doing it on Valentine’s Day would be perfect!”

  “Doing ... what?”

  “You’ll see, Doug.” Then he flashed his big toothy smile. “First, I have to pick up a few things at the party store, and then I need to borrow some of Mom’s red fingernail polish.”

  What was Harry up to? I couldn’t wait to find out!

  Big Wedding Plans

  Harry came to school the next morning with a special homemade valentine. There was a big heart painted on it with red fingernail polish.

  “I’m asking Song Lee today,” he said as he walked into class.

  “Asking her what?” I whispered.

  “You’ll see.”

  Harry sat there holding his valentine while Miss Mackle was reading Pinocchio. He was so interested in today’s episode that he didn’t pass the card. Finally, the teacher stopped reading—right where the serpent laughs so loud he bursts a blood vessel.

  “Eeyew, gross,” I said.

  “Eeyew, neat-o,” Harry replied. Then he turned and handed me the valentine. “Pass this to Song Lee,” he whispered.

  At last! I thought. Now I could find out what Harry was up to. Quickly I read the message on the card.

  Twice. I couldn’t believe it the first time.

  Harry wanted to marry Song Lee!

  A few minutes later, a note came back. I decided not to unfold it. Song Lee’s answer was private. Besides, I figured I could tell what Song Lee said just by watching Harry when he read the note.

  But I couldn’t.

  Harry didn’t blink while he was reading it. He didn’t put his head down on his desk and he didn’t smile. He just looked at the clock.

  What did Song Lee say?

  I didn’t find out until lunch recess. Harry rounded up me and Sidney, and then we found Song Lee playing hop-scotch with Ida and Mary by the dumpster. Harry said it was okay for Mary and Ida to listen too.

  “Song Lee,” he said. “Do you want to get married on Valentine’s Day?”

  “Ohh!” Mary sighed. “How romantic!”

  “Harry,” Song Lee said, “I tell you in my note. We are not grown-up. My aunt get married last summer but she was twenty-two. I am just seven and a half now.”

  Harry shrugged. “So? I’m eight and I’ve been to three weddings. We could have our own ceremony, ourselves!”

  “We could?” Song Lee replied.

  “Sure,” Harry said. “I just have to check with Sidney on a few details. How was that wedding rehearsal last night?”

  Everyone stared at Sidney.

  “Whose wedding rehearsal?” Mary asked.

  Sidney kicked a piece of chalk on the blacktop. “My mom’s,” he grumbled.

  “YOUR MOTHER IS GETTING MARRIED?”

  Sidney groaned. “Unfortunately.”

  “That’s so exciting!” Mary exclaimed. “What do you do in the wedding?”

  “I’m the ring bearer. I carry the ring down the aisle on a little pillow and then I stand near the minister.”

  “That’s neat,” Ida replied.

  “Hey, Sid,” Harry said. “Can you remember some of the words your minister says and say them for Song Lee and me?”

  Sidney shrugged. “If you want me to, I guess I can.”
>
  Everyone looked at Mary. She was usually the one who organized things.

  “I couldn’t be the minister,” Mary said. “I’ve never been to a wedding before.”

  I smiled. I was glad I wasn’t the only one.

  Sidney stopped grumbling. I think he liked being in charge for a change. “Well, where do you want to have the ceremony?”

  Harry looked at the big tree on the playground. There was a squirrel running across the branches. “Hey, how about by the tree, Thursday morning?”

  “I remember tree the first day of second grade,” Song Lee giggled.

  “Me too,” I said. “That’s where Harry trapped you with his garter snake.”

  “Heh! Heh! Heh!” Harry chuckled. “Just being friendly.”

  Mary put her nose in Harry’s face. “No snakes in this wedding ceremony!”

  “Okay!” Harry said, putting his hands up. Then he lowered his voice. “How about a couple of bugs?”

  “Only if they’re not real,” Mary scolded.

  “You want bogus bugs?” Harry replied. “You get bogus bugs.”

  For the next ten minutes Sidney helped us make our big wedding plans. When we were finished, he said, “Well, Song Lee, now I know that Harry would rather marry you than a hot dog or a kickball.”

  Everyone laughed except Harry.

  “I was just kidding!” Sidney explained.

  Harry made a half smile. “Well, did we forget anything?”

  Song Lee nodded. “I think I should ask Mother first. If she gives me permission, then I marry you, Harry.”

  Harry dropped to his knees like he was praying. “Pleeeeease say yes!”

  I couldn’t believe it.

  On Valentine’s Day, I might be going to my first wedding.

  HARRY’S!

  Harry’s True Love