Horrible Harry and the Triple Revenge Read online

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  The Ball and the Bug

  Snack Attack!

  The Underwear Dare

  Pajama Day

  The Third Revenge!

  Cow-Patty Party

  Harry’s Horrible Birthday Cake Recipe

  Lebanese Cookie Recipe

  Other Books by Suzy Kline

  Horrible Harry in Room 2B

  Horrible Harry and the Green Slime

  Horrible Harry and the Ant Invasion

  Horrible Harry’s Secret

  Horrible Harry and the Christmas Surprise

  Horrible Harry and the Kickball Wedding

  Horrible Harry and the Dungeon

  Horrible Harry and the Purple People

  Horrible Harry and the Drop of Doom

  Horrible Harry Moves Up to Third Grade

  Horrible Harry Goes to the Moon

  Horrible Harry at Halloween

  Horrible Harry Goes to Sea

  Horrible Harry and the Dragon War

  Horrible Harry and the Mud Gremlins

  Horrible Harry and the Holidaze

  Horrible Harry and the Locked Closet

  Horrible Harry and The Goog

  Horrible Harry Takes the Cake

  Song Lee in Room 2B

  Song Lee and the Hamster Hunt

  Song Lee and the Leech Man

  Song Lee and the “I Hate You” Notes

  VIKING

  Published by Penguin Group

  Penguin Young Readers Group,

  345 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A.

  Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4P 2Y3

  (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)

  Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland

  (a division of Penguin Books Ltd)

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  Penguin Group (NZ), Cnr Airborne and Rosedale Roads, Albany, Auckland 1310,

  New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd)

  Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank,

  Johannesburg 2196, South Africa

  Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  First published in 2006 by Viking, a division of Penguin Young Readers Group

  Text copyright © Suzy Kline, 2006

  Illustrations copyright © Frank Remkiewicz, 2006

  All rights reserved

  Library of Congress cataloging-in-publication data is available.

  eISBN : 978-0-142-41081-3

  Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  http://us.penguingroup.com

  Dedicated to the love of my life,

  my best friend and husband,

  Rufus Orville Kline.

  Thank you for helping me with my

  twentieth Horrible Harry book!

  Special appreciation to . . .

  Frank Remkiewicz, for his inspired art and delightful sense of humor

  My editor, Catherine Frank, for her very helpful comments

  Quaker Hill Elementary in Waterford, Connecticut, which has regular “Snack Attacks!”

  North Boulevard School in Pompton Plains, New Jersey. Thank you for inviting me to your Pajama Day.

  My daughter, Emily Hurtuk, for telling me about the “Kitty-Litter Cake” created by Kellie Head, editor of ParentingHumor.com, from which Harry’s birthday cake was adapted

  And the original Milk Farm in Davis, California, which was the best place for ice cream between San Francisco and Sacramento!

  The Ball and the Bug

  My name is Doug, and I’m in third grade. I write lots of stories about my best friend, Harry. He’s the guy in Room 3B who loves horrible things, slimy things, and gross things! His last name even sounds spooky—it’s Spooger.

  Harry is also the guy who loves Song Lee and gets bugged by Sidney.

  But when something terrible happens at Southeast School, Harry always manages to make things better. Sometimes he even makes them fun! That’s exactly what happened this week.

  It all started on Tuesday before school.

  Harry and I were just walking onto the playground. It seemed like a regular day. Mary was running up to everyone making sure they had done their homework.

  “Harry,” she said, “did you bring a wholesome snack like our teacher, Miss Mackle, asked?”

  “I brought two,” Harry bragged. “A healthy one and the one I plan to eat.”

  “Funny,” Mary groaned, then she ran off to find Ida.

  “Hey, Harry the Canary!” Sidney yelled from the ramp.

  “Yo, Sid the Squid,” Harry yelled back.

  Sidney came running over to us. He had something in his arms. “You guys want to play with my brand-new soccer ball?”

  “Sure,” we said.

  Harry smelled the new ball and flashed his white teeth. “It’s leather!”

  Sid beamed. “Genuine leather! I get to kick first!”

  At that very moment, Song Lee joined us. She was holding something in her hand.

  “I made this yesterday with my father,” she said with a big smile.

  Harry’s eyes bulged. “A paper praying mantis! How cool is that!”

  Song Lee giggled. “It’s origami.”

  Sidney started tapping his foot. “Come on, you guys, we don’t have that much time. Let’s play ball!”

  “Would you sit on it,” Harry growled. “Just cool your jets!”

  Sid sat on his soccer ball and steamed.

  “How did you make that bug?” Harry asked Song Lee.

  “The directions are in my origami book. The praying mantis is on page forty-nine. It’s the most difficult one.”

  “Time is ticking away,” Sidney groaned.

  Harry ignored him. He was looking at page forty-nine. “Man, there are a hundred steps for making a praying mantis.”

  “It takes time,” Song Lee said with a big smile. “And you need help.”

  “Does your bug stand up?” Harry asked.

  “Yes,” Song Lee said proudly.

  We watched her set the praying mantis on the asphalt playground. The bug stood tall and didn’t tip over.

  Suddenly the bell rang.

  Sidney jumped up and shouted, “Thanks a lot, El Tweeto!”

  I couldn’t believe what Sid did next. He stomped on the praying mantis, crushed it, and ran away with his soccer ball.

  Song Lee immediately bent down and picked up the crumpled paper. She held it close to her heart. I saw her brush away a tear, then run over to line up.

  Harry held up both fists.

  “Double revenge?” I asked.

  Harry shook his head. “Nope—triple revenge.”

  “Triple revenge?”

  “It’s the biggie,” Harry explained. “And this time it means three consequences for Sidney La Fleur.”

  Oh boy, I thought, Sid was doomed!

  Snack Attack!

  When we lined up at the school do
or, Mary was the first to notice Song Lee. “Why are you crying?” she asked.

  Song Lee shook her head. “It’s . . . nothing,” she whimpered. Then she wiped her eyes and didn’t cry anymore.

  Song Lee hardly ever tattled.

  Mary looked back at us. We were the last ones in line. “I bet Harry did something,” she growled.

  Song Lee shook her head again. “No. I’m fine,” she said.

  Sidney was the first one to sit down in his seat and take out his writing notebook. He drew a soccer ball on a fresh page, then put it in a circle with a diagonal line. It looked like a “No Soccer” sign.

  As the rest of us got out our notebooks, I wondered when Harry would get revenge number one. Right now Harry was just glaring at Sid across the aisle.

  “Good morning, boys and girls,” Miss Mackle said. “I hope everyone remembered their healthy snack. We’re having a special visitor in a few minutes, and we want to be prepared!”

  Harry reached into his backpack and pulled out two snacks. Both were wrapped in foil. One was round. One was square.

  Just as he was putting both in his desk, Sid leaned over and whispered, “Can I have one? I forgot my homework. I don’t want anyone to know.”

  What nerve! I thought. El Creepo was asking for a favor!

  “Sure,” Harry said, grinning. “I’d be glad to share.”

  My eyes bulged. Harry was secretly handing Sid the square snack. What was Harry up to?

  “Thanks, pal!” Sid said.

  “Don’t open it until you eat it,” Harry added. “Keep it fresh.”

  “Gotcha!” Sid replied.

  I just shook my head.

  Miss Mackle went to the door. “I hear someone coming!”

  We all looked up and heard singing in the hallway.

  “YUM! YUM!

  HERE I COME! COME!”

  When it appeared in the doorway, Sidney yelled, “Yikes! It’s a giant apple.”

  Dexter started singing to the tune of an Elvis song. “It ain’t nothin’ but an apple, walking in our room! It ain’t nothin’ but an apple, walkin’ in our room!”

  “SNACK ATTACK!” the apple boomed.

  When our class went pin-quiet, ZuZu blurted out, “Who are you?”

  “Apple Man,” the creature boomed. “I’m looking for healthy snacks. I’m giving one point for each wholesome food. The class that has the best percentage of healthy snacks wins an extra recess.”

  Everyone cheered and clapped.

  Except Song Lee. She was just quiet.

  And Harry. He was looking at Apple Man’s feet. “Those are Mr. Cardini’s shoes,” he whispered to me.

  I looked down and nodded. It was our principal, all right. He was the big apple!

  “Show me your healthy snacks,” Apple Man demanded as he walked up and down the aisles.

  “I have a banana,” Ida said.

  “I have yogurt,” ZuZu said.

  “Yum! Yum!” Apple Man replied.

  “See my box of raisins?” Mary asked.

  Dexter held up a carrot.

  Song Lee had kiwi slices.

  I had celery and green peppers.

  “Deeeeeelicious!” Apple Man said. “I love vegetables and fruit!”

  Apple Man added tally marks on his clipboard for Room 3B.

  When he came to Harry, everyone held their breath. Harry slowly unwrapped his snack.

  “Orange wedges,” Harry said. “Grandma Spooger even left the white strings on them for me. I love pulp.”

  “YUM! YUM!

  IN THE TUM TUM!”

  Apple Man boomed.

  Finally, Apple Man came to Sidney’s desk. He waited patiently while Sid unwrapped the four sides of foil. “I’ve got a healthy snack right here,” Sid predicted.

  Everyone watched him unfold the silvery paper.

  Suddenly the smell of chocolate filled Room 3B.

  “Fudge!” Apple Man said. “No points. NO CANDY FOR SNACKS!”

  Sidney sank down in his chair. Everyone groaned, “Sidney!” Harry made a toothy smile. And when no one was looking, he put out his hand. “I’ll take it back now, Sid the Squid!”

  So that’s what Harry was up to!

  Revenge number one!

  Sid made a face as he plopped the snack back in Harry’s hand.

  An hour later, Apple Man made an announcement over the intercom. “The winner of the Snack Attack today was Mr. Moulder’s second-grade class. They had one hundred percent healthy snacks, so they get an extra recess!”

  Room 3B groaned and moaned. “We lost because of Sidney,” Mary grumbled.

  We all had long faces except for Harry. He was smiling as he held up two fingers.

  Sid had two more revenges coming.

  The Underwear Dare

  Pajama Day was the big topic at lunchtime in the cafeteria. It was part of Spirit Week for Southeast School. Everybody was talking about it. Most of us had hot lunch that day. It was spaghetti and buttery garlic bread. The carrot sticks were good too.

  As we slurped the noodles and crunched the bread and carrots, we talked about the big event.

  “What are you wearing, Song Lee?” Ida asked. “I haven’t decided what to wear yet. My pajamas or nightgown?”

  Song Lee shrugged.

  “I bet she brings her oragummy book,” Sid said.

  “Origami,” Mary corrected.

  When Song Lee didn’t light up, Sid’s smile disappeared. He could see she was still upset.

  “We’re having hot cocoa with mini marshmallows on Pajama Day,” ZuZu said. “My mom is one of the room mothers. I know!”

  “We get to read books anywhere in the room for a whole hour!” I said. “I’m reading the entire book of Stone Fox!”

  “I’m bringing my own copy of Revenge of Wedgie Woman,” Harry said, making his eyebrows go up and down.

  After Mary cringed, she told us what she was wearing. “I have pink cat pajamas and pink fluffy slippers to match, and I’m bringing a book about Pinky and Rex. What about you, Doug?” Mary asked.

  “I’m wearing a bathrobe,” I said.

  “Cool!” ZuZu replied. “What are you wearing, Harry?”

  “Well, Zu, I don’t wear pajamas to bed. I just go to sleep in my underwear.”

  Mary and Ida giggled.

  “Hey, Harry the Canary,” Sid said, “I’ve got a dare for you! Wear your underwear to school tomorrow for Pajama Day. It’s what you wear to bed!”

  Harry suddenly leaned way back in his lunch chair. He raised his bushy eyebrows, then pointed his carrot stick at Sidney. “Okay. Maybe . . . I will.”

  We all stared at Harry.

  “You will?” Sid said.

  “Maybe. On one condition.”

  “What’s that?” Sid asked.

  “If . . . I wear my underwear to school tomorrow,” Harry replied, “you have to leap around all day like a praying mantis.”

  “Huh?” Sid said.

  Harry gave a demonstration. He walked on his tiptoes with his head held

  high. He moved his head from side to side. His hands were close to his chest, and his fingers wiggled back and forth.

  Song Lee looked up. Thinking about a praying mantis made her eyes get watery. But Sid didn’t even notice.

  “It’s a deal!” he said, looking at Harry. “You’ll never wear your underwear to school!”

  Harry shook Sid’s hand. “We’ll see about that.”

  Mary and Ida gasped, then covered their mouths.

  Song Lee looked away.

  I could only shudder. Harry’s second revenge was risky!

  The next morning was Wednesday. The bell was about to ring. Miss Mackle was at the bulletin board. Her hair was up in curlers, and she was wearing a granny nightgown.

  Sidney was anxiously waiting by the door in his bright red pajamas with white snowmen. They were one size too big.

  “Where’s Harry?” Sid asked.

  “Grandma Spooger always brings him to school on Wednesdays,�
�� I said. “That’s when he has breakfast with his grandpa at Shady Glen.”

  Sid looked worried. “Do you think Harry’s going to show up in his underwear?”

  Ida shook her head. “I hope not. Cross your fingers that he doesn’t.”

  Everyone crossed their fingers.

  Except for Song Lee. She was reading a book called A Single Shard at her desk. She was wearing a pale blue nightgown with black-and-white pandas on it.

  The rest of us waited at the door.

  Finally, Harry strolled in.

  Pajama Day

  Harry was wearing underwear, all right.

  Long johns!

  Plain-white one-hundred-percent-cotton long johns!

  I let out a big sigh of relief.

  So did Mary and Ida.

  Harry’s teeth were as white as his winter underwear. “Okay, Sid. Start leaping like a praying mantis.”

  Sidney slapped the wall. “You tricked me!”

  “So what were you expecting me to wear, Sid? Pull-up diapers?” Harry joked.

  Sidney reluctantly got up on his tiptoes and pulled his hands close to his chest. When he wiggled his fingers, some of us giggled. He leaped very quickly over to his desk, holding his head up high like a praying mantis.

  Ida and Mary giggled.

  Sidney only got out of his seat four times that day.

  Once to go to the bathroom.

  Once to line up for lunch.

  Once for dismissal.

  And once to go to the refreshment table for hot cocoa and cookies. ZuZu’s mom was handing out the treats. She noticed Sidney’s funny steps. “Are you pretending to be an animal?” Mrs. Hadad asked.

  Sidney half-smiled. “Actually, I’m pretending to be an insect,” he mumbled.

  ZuZu’s mother looked at the teacher.

  “I think Sidney has a good case of cabin fever,” Miss Mackle chuckled. “That’s why the school has Spirit Week in the middle of winter.”