Horrible Harry and the Wedding Spies Read online

  ZuZu put two thumbs up!

  “As soon as the church bell rings twelve times for twelve o’clock, I’ll dash downstairs to the lobby and offer Miss Mackle my arm.”

  When Harry crooked his elbow again, Mary groaned.

  “Just remember!” Harry added. “This is top secret! Don’t mention our wedding spy plan to anyone.”

  We all nodded in agreement.

  Harry had no idea we had two secret plans—his plan to walk Miss Mackle down the aisle, and our plan to stop him!

  The Church Cemetery

  Saturday morning Harry and I rode our bikes over to the church cemetery. It was only two blocks from my house. Harry had his hair combed and was wearing a white dress shirt. I could tell he wanted to look nice when he walked our teacher down the aisle. Both of his pockets bulged, but I didn’t ask what was in them.

  As soon as we made a right turn onto Maplewood, Harry raced down the street. It was like church row on that block. There were four churches right next to each other.

  When Harry took a left into our church parking lot, there were only a few cars. Miss Mackle’s wedding was still an hour away. I recognized Mom’s station wagon with scratches on the fender. My brother, Baxter, did that with his little steel car. I followed Harry as he rode to the back and parked at the cemetery gate.

  Mary was already waiting for us under the gate with her hands on her hips. She was all dressed up in a fancy pink dress.

  “This place gives me the creeps,” Mary complained. “Why did you have us meet here, Harry, and not in the driveway?”

  Harry flashed a toothy smile. “So we could read the gravestones while we’re waiting for everyone to show up. Look at this one! It’s really old!”

  Harry and I bent over and tried to read the faded numerals.

  “Oh good!” Mary said. “Sidney, Ida, and Song Lee are coming up the sidewalk!”

  As soon as they saw Mary waving, the three of them ran over to the cemetery.

  “You look so pretty,” Song Lee said to Mary.

  “This cemetery gives me the willies!” Sid exclaimed. “I’m not going inside.”

  “Me either,” Mary said.

  Ida and Song Lee apparently didn’t have any willies. They joined us. “Look! Someone left roses on this grave!” Song Lee said.

  Mary turned around and slowly walked into the cemetery. She wanted to see the flowers. “Someone must have just put them there. They’re still fresh.”

  “Look at the name on the tombstone!” Ida called out.

  We all did. “Fritz Birnbotham!”

  “Mrs. Birnbotham goes to our church,” I said with a shiver.

  Everyone made a face. Mrs. Birnbotham was the strictest substitute teacher we ever had!

  Just then, the bell tower began to chime eleven o’clock. Bong! Bong! Bong!

  Dexter and ZuZu came running up the parking lot and into the cemetery. They were out of breath when they got to us.

  Bong! Bong! Bong!

  “My guitar lesson is usually over by ten thirty,” Dexter explained. “Sorry, guys!”

  “You’re right on time, man,” Harry replied, checking his watch. “Let’s go! The sooner we make a few flower bouquets, the sooner we can get to our hideout in the balcony!”

  Mary immediately tapped her fingers together. She was reminding us about our mission—stopping Harry!

  Flower Baskets

  When we got to the side entrance of the church, I opened the door.

  “Cool!” Dexter said as we went downstairs into a dark, narrow hall.

  “A secret passageway!” Harry ex-claimed. “Is this the door we take to go upstairs?”

  “Yes. That blue one. The first floor is where Miss Mackle’s wedding will be. Second is the balcony. There’s only about twenty stairs. Not high at all.”

  Harry very slowly opened the blue door and took a peak at the winding steps behind it. “I can do two floors,” he said.

  When we walked out of the narrow hallway and turned into Fellowship Hall, we could see Mom working at a far table with another lady. The table next to them had neat piles of artificial flowers and greenery, and a tall stack of small baskets.

  “Hi, kids!” Mom called out. “Come on over!”

  The girls immediately examined all the different flowers on the table—daisies, roses, lots of other kinds that I didn’t have names for.

  “Who gets these little baskets of flowers?” Ida asked.

  “We’re taking them to our local hospital. We hope to bring cheer to the patients,” Mom said, smiling.

  Song Lee clapped her hands.

  Harry and I looked at our watches. It was five after eleven. We had plenty of time to fill a few baskets. We grabbed handfuls of flowers and greenery and started stuffing one. The girls and Sidney took their time picking out things.

  At eleven forty-five, Mom stood up. “My goodness, look at all the baskets you kids have made. There must be forty altogether now!”

  The timing was perfect.

  Harry immediately stood up, too. “Okay, guys, time for a break.” Every-one quickly followed Harry’s lead.

  “Want to look around the cemetery for a while?” Mom asked. “I know Harry is interested in the gravestones.”

  “That’s where we’re headed!” Harry said.

  As we hurried across Fellowship Hall, my heart started to beat a little faster.

  “Well, thank you very much, kids!” Mom called out. “Meet you back here!”

  We all waved. We were now officially wedding spies!

  Disaster in the Balcony

  As soon as we got to the cloakroom, I grabbed the doorknob on the blue door. Harry held up a hand. We waited while he opened the other door to the parking lot, then slammed it shut.

  “Now they’ll think we went outside to play,” he whispered.

  “Did you have to lie about going to the cemetery?” Mary snapped.

  “I didn’t lie,” Harry answered. “I said we were headed for the cemetery. I didn’t say we were going there.”

  Mary made a face, then zipped her lips. “Okay, Doug, lead the way!”

  As we quietly tiptoed through the blue doorway, Dexter whispered, “This winding staircase is so cool!”

  “Shhhh!” Mary shushed.

  My heart was thumping loudly.

  Harry was holding on to my shirt tail. When we got to the first floor, I stopped. “This is the door to the church lobby. Don’t touch it!”

  Everyone nodded, then followed me up to the balcony. The seventh step creaked. I cringed when I stepped on it. I could hear seven more squeaks as my friends followed me up to the top.

  “You okay, Harry?” I whispered.

  “My mind’s on Miss Mackle,” he whispered back. “Keep going!”

  When I got to the balcony door, I slowly turned the handle. “Kneel down,” Harry whispered. “Walk on your knees, everyone.”

  Mary motioned to let Harry go ahead of me. When he was out in front, she whispered, “It will be easier to block him from leaving.”

  We nodded again, then dropped to the floor and crawled to the first row, where Harry was squatting. There were only four sloping rows of pews.

  “We’re out of view now,” Harry whispered. “And safe.”

  “But we have no view ourselves!” Sid complained. “Just the side of this short wall. When can we peek over the ledge, and spy on the wedding?”

  “Not while I’m walking Miss Mackle down the aisle!” Harry warned. “Every-one will be looking in your direction then. You guys can start spying when I get her to the altar.” Then Harry whipped out a tie from one of his pockets and snapped it into place. “How do I look?” he asked Song Lee.

  “Handsome.” She giggled.

  Mary made a face.

  “How do we kno
w when Miss Mackle gets to the altar if we don’t take a peek?” Sid asked.

  “We can tell when the wedding march stops,” Ida answered. “That’s what happened at my aunt’s wedding.”

  “It’s too hard to wait,” Sid complained.

  “Too bad,” Mary scolded. Then she tapped her fingers together. She was reminding us why we were hiding with Harry. We had to stop him from disrupting Miss Mackle’s wedding!

  Harry never noticed us tapping our fingers. He was taking a small pair of binoculars out of his other pocket.

  “Can I borrow those?” Sid asked.

  “Not now,” Harry said. “You can use them when I leave.”

  “Boo.” Sidney started to fuss.

  Mary looked up at the pew behind her. Someone had left an old church program on the seat. “Here, Sid,” she said. “You can make your own pair of binoculars. Just roll this up.”

  “All right!” Sidney took it and ripped apart the pages.

  “Shhhhh!” we shushed.

  Harry and I rechecked our watches. Eleven forty-seven. “Thirteen minutes to go!” Harry whispered, straightening his tie.

  As we sat there silently crouching, the organist began playing a soft piece of music. We heard voices going up the aisle, people greeting each other, then lots of footsteps and the sounds of people sitting down. Three minutes later, Sidney showed Mary his finished art.

  “Pretty good paper airplane, don’t you think?” he bragged.

  “I doubt that thing could fly,” Mary said.

  “Sure it can,” replied Sidney. He stood up on his knees and sailed the plane forward.

  All of us peeked over the ledge and watched it soar into the air. It was flying toward the altar of the church. We watched it slowly sway and sink from side to side, until it took a nosedive and landed in some lady’s hat in the fourth row! When it dropped forward onto her lap, she turned around and looked up at the balcony.

  It was Mrs. Birnbotham!

  Now she was standing up, scowling!

  All of us ducked!

  Who would have guessed she was in the wedding family? I thought.

  “Sidney!” Mary scolded. “I can’t believe you did that!”

  Sidney trembled. “I just wanted to show you it could fly! Do you think she saw us? Is Mrs. B-B-Birnbotham c-coming up h-here?”

  Harry shushed both of them, then looked quickly around the balcony.

  “If she finds us here, we’re doomed!” Sid exclaimed.

  The girls huddled together. Dexter clenched his teeth.

  “Doug!” Harry whispered. “Is there any place we can hide up here?”

  I pointed to a chain hanging down from the far ceiling in the corner behind a six-foot wall. “I could take you guys up to the belfry . . .”

  “The belfry?” Sid said. “What’s that?”

  “The bell tower,” I answered.

  Harry looked at the goose pimples on his arm. “Here come the heebie-jeebies!” he said. “But there’s no other way. Let’s do it!”

  Trapped in the Belfry

  Harry crawled as fast as he could to the top row in the balcony. We followed, then crawled behind the divider wall. Very slowly I pulled down the chain. A climbing ladder of six wooden steps descended from the ceiling. It hardly made a noise. Harry scooted up the ladder right away. One by one we followed him.

  As soon as Mary made it up into the belfry, I pulled on the top stair with both hands. The climbing ladder automatically folded back into the ceiling. Quickly I locked it with a latch from the inside.

  We all sat down silently on the wooden floor in the belfry and looked up high. The sunlight poured in between the wooden slats of the steeple. One giant church bell was directly above us. It was made of cast bronze and weighed four hundred pounds!

  “You can see the sidewalk and street,” Dexter said, turning around and peering between two slats.

  “Shhh!” Mary snapped. “Someone could be coming any minute!”

  Harry didn’t turn around. He was petrified. I noticed little balls of sweat dripping down the sides of his face.

  Suddenly, we heard a loud creak from that seventh step on the balcony stairway. Then a second creak. My heart was beating faster than ever!

  “Two people are coming!” Mary whispered, putting a finger to her lip. Every-one else did the same. Even Sidney. Nobody moved.

  A few seconds later, the balcony door opened. We could hear a woman’s voice. “I thought the paper airplane came from here,” she said sternly, “but I can’t be sure. I didn’t have my glasses on.”

  A male voice responded. “No one’s here, Mrs. Birnbotham,” he said.

  Then we heard the door to the balcony close.

  When Mary took a deep breath, we all did too.

  “Phew!” we said, standing up.

  Suddenly, Sidney jumped into Mary’s arms. “What’s that thing behind me!”

  We all turned around and looked. Even Harry.

  I laughed. “Don’t worry, Sid,” I said. “It’s a wooden owl. Mom and I put it there last summer to keep the birds out of the belfry.”

  Harry patted its head. “This critter is the king of spies! He watches day and night.”

  Mary rolled her eyes, then pushed Sidney away. “Let’s get out of this creepy place before that giant bell starts ringing.”

  Sid jumped up and covered his ears. “Oh no! The noise is going to blow my brains out!” Sidney rushed for the door. He tried to unlatch the lock in the wall to let the stairs down, but it was too tricky. He couldn’t do it.

  “I’ll get it,” I said. “Mom had to show me how.”

  I unclicked the latch and pushed the bottom step of the climbing ladder downward. I could hear the organ playing a new hymn as I watched the ladder slowly descend to the balcony floor below.

  “Go down quickly!” Mary ordered Sidney, Song Lee, Ida, Dexter, and ZuZu.

  Harry was still next to that owl, but now he was looking between the wooden slats with his binoculars.

  Mary hurried down the climbing steps. As soon as she got to the balcony floor below, she whispered a command. “Doug, pull this up now! Lock yourself in the belfry with Harry. It’s the only way we can really stop him from spoiling Miss Mackle’s wedding!”

  Whoa, I thought. Can I do that to Harry?

  Suddenly, the big brass bell began to ring right over my head . . .

  The Wedding Surprise

  BONG! BONG! BONG!

  The ringing was louder than thunder. It was a horrible noise! I had to cover my ears as the bell chimed twelve o’clock. When I looked at Harry, he was adjusting his binoculars.

  “Don’t your ears hurt?”

  “Noise doesn’t bother me!” Harry replied. “But my stomach does. It’s spinning now.”

  “What are you looking at?” I asked.

  “There’s some military guy wandering up and down the sidewalk. He’s going to the church up the street. I’m waiting for him to face me so I can see that name tag on his chest.”

  I looked over Harry’s shoulder.

  “Got it!!” Harry exclaimed.

  “Got what?” I asked.

  Harry ignored my question. “It’s time to go!” he said. Then he pushed me aside and scooted down the steps of the climbing ladder. When he landed on the balcony floor, he made a mad dash for the exit.

  Mary looked frantic. “Doug! You have to catch him!”

  I knew that for sure! I took off after Harry. I was right on his heels as he raced down the stairs.

  When we burst into the lobby, Miss Mackle was forming a line with her maid of honor and two bridesmaids “Harry! Doug! What are you doing here?” our teacher said.

  At that moment, the organist started playing a trumpet introduction. The usher motioned for the bridesmaids to start walking.
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  “Don’t go yet, Miss Mackle!” Harry pleaded. Then, he dashed outside the double doors of the church. I followed him across the lawn and onto the sidewalk. That soldier was about to enter the church two doors down.

  Harry shouted to him. “MAJOR MACKLE! OVER HERE!”

  Major Mackle? Huh? I thought.

  The man dressed in a military uniform with lots of medals quickly turned around. As soon as we met up, Harry took him with us. We raced back across the lawn and up the steps. Just as we opened the double doors to the church, we could see the maid of honor making her trip down the aisle. No one else was in the lobby but the bride.

  “Dad!” Miss Mackle called out.

  She dropped her bouquet and ran into his arms.

  “You made it to my wedding!”

  “I wanted to surprise you, Piglet. I just got a little lost.”

  Miss Mackle and her father shared a long hug.

  Then she turned around and slipped her arm into her father’s. “This is the best day of my life!” she exclaimed.

  “Well, you have these boys to thank. They rescued me just in time. I was headed for the wrong church down the street. There must be three weddings going on today!”

  “Harry spotted your father with his binoculars from the belfry,” I said.

  “Thank you, Harry,” Miss Mackle said, half laughing. “You boys be sure to sit in on my wedding, okay?”

  “Fantastic!” Harry replied, picking up our teacher’s bouquet and handing it to her. “But there are a few more of us.” And he ran upstairs to get the others.